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Left To Vanish: Versus the throne
18/11/08 || Kampfar
I’ll start this fuckhole of a review by claiming the guys in Left To Vanish to be the most homo-erotic individuals I have ever seen. Gay-porn and parade included. Man, who the fuck thought it wise to cram these 5 trendy twats into a small-toilet – whatever, but for sure very green – and then use the photo proof as a band-picture? A pervert for sure. And also, what fucking drugs were the band on when agreeing to the not so splendid idea of this artistic nut-case? Meth spiced with sperm on top of crack? Anyways, by the look of it these dudes shouldn’t be able to play anything besides ass-brass, meat-flute and cum-gargle. And I’m sure you agree. Still, I look like a psychotic serial-killer with rabies, and I haven’t exactly killed anyone, so looks can indeed be deceiving. And when it comes to “Versus the throne” they are. Just not in a surprisingly good way.
See, judging by their trendy haircuts and flashy clothes, one could easily assume them to be a creative lot, one trying out new ideas, taking chances, etc. I mean, they run around looking like short-circuited Christmas trees infested with A.I.D.S, god damn it, so I’m in full right to assume shit. But apart from them being way more brutal than the bespoken picture led me to believe, here is hardly anything to higher a brow for.
Make that nothing.
It’s fucking deathcore alright, not the worst of its kind, but still deathcore. And that means chugga-chugga. I like me some chugga, right now listening to Helmet, but not the kind lent from the filler-material bank. Oh no. In Left To Vanish’s defense it must be said that they aren’t the most frequent visitor of this non-existent bank I’m on about, far from, but still way too often and then some. At least often enough to numb my brain and generally bore the fuck out of me in each and every song.
And, as usual when speaking this style, the vocals aren’t much to write home about either. Fuck me in the rear, it feels like all vocalist of this ilk are unable to connect with the music, shouting above, besides, below, but seldom alongside. Admittedly, the dude in this band is better than most of his peers, quite some, even sporting something resembling a range, but I still find his connection to be a tad weak, and his approach rather annoying, generic and forced. Especially the shouts sounds like ass.
The most positive thing I can say about this bunch of cum-fetchers, is that they know their instruments rather well, and that “Versus the throne” sounds a bit less generic than the standard deathcore release. Said another way, this is an almost mediocre album.
Deathcore is a fucking appendix.
4,5 out of 10.
- Information
- Released: 2008
- Label: Lifeforce records
- Website: Left To Vanish’s MySpace
- Band
- Keith Nolan: vocals
- Sean Salm: guitar
- Kevin Salm: guitar
- Bryan Little: bass
- Paul Meredith: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Give us Barabbas
- 02. Seventeenth year cicadas
- 03. Long live this heresy
- 04. Dirt merchant
- 05. Lufthansa heist
- 06. Whitewolf and Nash
- 07. Eyeless in Gaza
- 08. Suffrage under a sulfur sky
- 09. Februray 16th 1969
- 10. Northern Lights
- 11. Falling in love in a whorehouse
